Another NaNoFail

My therapist and I have talked about my perfectionist tendencies, but it still hadn't modified my behavior.

And I thought I was doing better with my constant agonizing over things but then I signed up to do NaNoWriMo knowing that I'm working two jobs, had to travel to attend two training classes (in person), my left hip is killing me, and my asthma/bronchitis situation is flaring up almost daily.

For the few who have never heard of it, NaNoWriMo is the acronym for National Novel Writing Month, and my nemesis for the last fifteen years.

I've failed more times than I've won.

Some way some how, November will always become my least productive writing month even when I've prepped all of October.

Each year I promise myself that I will win NaNoWriMo, it's becoming a running joke in my head.

I've tried reverse NaNoWriMo intending to complete huge word counts early before tapering off.

I've picked rewards, some huge, many big, and a bunch of little. Next year I going to do something drastic, I'm going to take the whole month off.

It'll be a chance for me to destress and be productive. I think maybe I don't have perfectionist tendencies but I tend to load more things on my plate than I can handle.

Old Shai could sign herself up for twenty things and get twenty five things done.

With November coming to a close in less than seven days, there is no way humanly possible for me to write the forty thousand words I’m short of getting a win.